I've dot a dit of a dold...

Don't get too close, I am unclean. I have the lurgie - feeling like rubbish! Actually, I am feeling better today. Thursday and Friday were the worst.

I still went out Friday. We (LP and I) were taking my friend of the last post - lets call her Bambi and her boyf to another friends house for beer, pizza and sympathy. I was feeling totally rubbish so decided to self medicate with JD, which seemed to do the trick and perk me up. It was a really good evening with Bambi free to chat about what ails her in good supportive intelligent company. Her man did not let her out of his gaze for a second, which is good to know. I am glad she is in good hands. She was a tower of strength and there were no tears or tantrums - just a chilled out night with plenty of laughs. Just what the doctor ordered all round I think. Bambi's appointment is on 10th April - I just hope and pray that it'll be good news; the cancer was in situ and is all gone now. Fingers crossed please.

This was a silent post as I still don't have much of a voice after the cold. Lucky LP eh?

Mind full of shit

My friend, a good good friend who has helped me through a lot of bad bad shit is having a nightmare time at the moment. She has been trying to lose weight via weight watchers and has been really unsuccessful, despite being well behaved in terms of her eating. She had this really quite large stomach that looked like she was pregnant - in fact many people used to ask her about it when we were out in the pub much to her embarrasment, and my annoyance! Anyway, her stomach went hard and after a negative pregnancy test she went off to her doctors who whisked her into hospital. A tumour of massive proportions was diagnosed and has subsequently been removed. The tumour weighed 8lbs and was attached to her ovary. She came to see me last night while LP was out. She has been for her results and the tumour was malignant! She's got to go back and be opened up for removal of her appendix and biopsy of her large bowel and other ovary. Needless to say she is absolutly shitting herself and in a bit of a mess. I just dont know what I can do for her. Of course I will be there for her no matter what. I just feel so useless. I can't help her, other than with the usual worthless platitudes. I am also not sure how LP will deal with me spending time with her. LP's mother died of breast cancer so the whole big C thing creates a wrath of bad memories that are already near to the surface following mothers day. Why oh why does awful shit like this happen to good, gorgeous, wonderful people? It just doesn't seem fair. She is supposed to be getting married next year - the arrangements have already started. Her fiance is being as supportive as he can be, but he is in the army - they are letting him come home as often as he can, but it's not the same as him being there all the time - and I can only be there occasioanlly. One of her 'friends' has disappeared off the planet since the tumour was discovered - I don't understand how people can be so cowardly.

I just don't understand much at the moment.

If I feel this devastated, I can only begin to imagine what her and her family are going through.