Dear Angela-la!
Well, it sounds like your life has taken a well deserved turn for the better. I barely know you, but still am delighted that you have found a partner to care for you in the way you deserve - to make you feel that you are as special as you really are.
We are very lucky people.
Me and LP have that sort of relationship. We compliment each other; bring out the best in each other; and most of all we support each other. Both of us think that the other is the best thing in their lives. That's a pretty special partnership in my eyes.
Tomorrow we head off on holiday for a week. 7 nights in a caravan in Bangor. I cant wait. I have done caravan holidays before, LP hasn't so I am looking forward to introducing LP to the delights of the caravan holiday. Tonight we are going shopping for groceries, then we will pack and prepare for an early start in the morning. Fingers crossed for the weather please!!
I really feel that we all need this break so much. The last few months have been pretty horrendous emotionally. Mum and Dad are going away for 2 weeks when we come back, so we wont see each other for 3 weeks. I will miss them terribly but at the same time, I am aware that we all need the space to look after ourselves rather than each other for a change!!
Dad has got his job permanent, so at 62 he has been made redundant, and found a better, happier job within 6 months. I think that is really good going.
Mum and I went out with Granddad's warden and cleaner on Wednesday night. It was a really pleasant evening where we remembered Granddad, and Nan with laughter and smiles. I think it was a really useful healing exercise for Mum. She has recently started talking about Granddad again, which is good. She found a card from her last birthday (in January) and is now convinced, after reading the words, that he was aware that he was going to die this year. I think that is entirely possible. He was a very proud man who was very aware of the burden that Nan's illness placed on him and Mum and was determined that he was not going to become that sort of burden. And he wasnt. Mum just needs to stop feeling guilty about how relieved she is that he went peacfully and after a short illness. She does beat herself up sometimes!!
The new house is progressing well. All the surveys and searches are back fine, the mortgage is progressing well - we just need our vendors to get out now! All ideas on a postcard to...
I'm sure it will happen soon (just not soon enough!!)
I was told that I am too fat for life insurance! They want me to lose 5 stone before they will even consider me. I am going to write a stern letter of complaint to the company as it is discrimination! They didnt even bother to contact my doctor (who would tell them I am healthy and losing weight) or give me a medical themselves! Bloody rude. But the cover was not essential, so we are going without.
I refuse to worry about my weight while I'm on holiday!!
I supose I should go and do some work really.
See you when I get back. I'll send you a postcard.
Love Mx
Friday, 7 September 2007
Friday, 10 August 2007
A little less me
Dear Angela-la (even though you never stop by anymore :()
I lost 1 lb last week and 2 lb this week.
Am feeling very smug and pleased with myself.
Mx
I lost 1 lb last week and 2 lb this week.
Am feeling very smug and pleased with myself.
Mx
Wednesday, 1 August 2007
Home Sweet Home
Dear Angela-la,
Me and the LP went house viewing yesterday - on what would have been my Granddad's 93rd Birthday. We got the mortgage agreement in principle on Saturday, so these were the first 4 houses we had viewed - and guess what...
We have just had an offer accepted on the first one we saw. The house is perfect in every way, doesn't need decoration (it does need a new bathroom suite - but not immediately!).
I'm so excited!
Love M
Me and the LP went house viewing yesterday - on what would have been my Granddad's 93rd Birthday. We got the mortgage agreement in principle on Saturday, so these were the first 4 houses we had viewed - and guess what...
We have just had an offer accepted on the first one we saw. The house is perfect in every way, doesn't need decoration (it does need a new bathroom suite - but not immediately!).
I'm so excited!
Love M
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
Funeral
Dear Angela-la,
Well, the funeral went as well as could be expected. The family were all there - and I seriously think that it is the last time I will be seeing some of them. I managed to bite my tongue even when my Cousin refused to kiss anyone because she was so delicate after her eye operation. My Dad was treated like a leper - but everyone was supportive of Mum, who was a complete vegetable. I managed to do my reading and was very proud of myself. I said a few personal words and read WH Auden 'Stop all the clocks'. It was really a very good send off for a wonderful man.
Life is slowly getting back to normal now, the usual routine prevails. My work have been very supportive of the time I needed off - well I thought they had. My line manager has been fantastic, but her line manager has reprimanded her for being too generous. Not good. Hey ho, whats done is done.
I'm off to watch the Simpsons Movie tonight.
Today my thoughts are mainly with people getting all biblical and building arks in preparation for the unseasonal weather.
Mx
Well, the funeral went as well as could be expected. The family were all there - and I seriously think that it is the last time I will be seeing some of them. I managed to bite my tongue even when my Cousin refused to kiss anyone because she was so delicate after her eye operation. My Dad was treated like a leper - but everyone was supportive of Mum, who was a complete vegetable. I managed to do my reading and was very proud of myself. I said a few personal words and read WH Auden 'Stop all the clocks'. It was really a very good send off for a wonderful man.
Life is slowly getting back to normal now, the usual routine prevails. My work have been very supportive of the time I needed off - well I thought they had. My line manager has been fantastic, but her line manager has reprimanded her for being too generous. Not good. Hey ho, whats done is done.
I'm off to watch the Simpsons Movie tonight.
Today my thoughts are mainly with people getting all biblical and building arks in preparation for the unseasonal weather.
Mx
Friday, 13 July 2007
Waking the Dead
Dear Angela-la
I went to the Chapel of Rest last night to see Granddad. The Funeral Directors we are using are old family friends, which is nice. I don't know why I needed to see Granddad this way, but I think it has to do with putting things back into perspective, making sure he was at peace, and, well, just seeing a dead body for the first time. I read a lot and read about death, how it affects these fictional characters all the time - but I have not had to deal with a lot of death myself (fortunately). So, Mum, Dad, Diane and Me piled into the car to give Granddad his final visit before the funeral. Mum took him a rose, I took with me a CD of music I would like played at the Crem. Dad waited outside with the Funeral Director. I have to say I lasted about 30 seconds before I had to remove myself from the room. Granddad looked at peace - like he had died easy. He looked smart in the outfit I had chosen for him. But he didn't look like my Granddad. He looked like used baggage that had been throw out; an empty shell. Granddad is really gone. His mouth was slack and I could see he was in makeup, and there was a certain smell in the room... anyway, I left - quickly. I had a bloody good cry - a proper sob in fact. Then we dropped Di home, and went for a good meal and had too much to drink.
Know what,
I feel much better now. I slept better, my headache is gone and I am looking forward to a lovely weekend away with LP.
It was an experience that I will never ever repeat again, but I am glad that I went. I dont think I will ever be able to shake the image of Granddad lying there, but it hasnt diminished the wonderful memories that I have of this great man who I loved dearly.
Mx
I went to the Chapel of Rest last night to see Granddad. The Funeral Directors we are using are old family friends, which is nice. I don't know why I needed to see Granddad this way, but I think it has to do with putting things back into perspective, making sure he was at peace, and, well, just seeing a dead body for the first time. I read a lot and read about death, how it affects these fictional characters all the time - but I have not had to deal with a lot of death myself (fortunately). So, Mum, Dad, Diane and Me piled into the car to give Granddad his final visit before the funeral. Mum took him a rose, I took with me a CD of music I would like played at the Crem. Dad waited outside with the Funeral Director. I have to say I lasted about 30 seconds before I had to remove myself from the room. Granddad looked at peace - like he had died easy. He looked smart in the outfit I had chosen for him. But he didn't look like my Granddad. He looked like used baggage that had been throw out; an empty shell. Granddad is really gone. His mouth was slack and I could see he was in makeup, and there was a certain smell in the room... anyway, I left - quickly. I had a bloody good cry - a proper sob in fact. Then we dropped Di home, and went for a good meal and had too much to drink.
Know what,
I feel much better now. I slept better, my headache is gone and I am looking forward to a lovely weekend away with LP.
It was an experience that I will never ever repeat again, but I am glad that I went. I dont think I will ever be able to shake the image of Granddad lying there, but it hasnt diminished the wonderful memories that I have of this great man who I loved dearly.
Mx
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
Dear Angela-la
The end of an era.
At 1.50 am last Tuesday morning Granddad finally gave up and shuffled off this mortal coil. To say I am devastated would be an understatement. I keep thinking of that poem used in Four Weddings - 'Stop all the clocks' the end says he was my north, south east and west and nothing now can ever come to any good. That is how I feel. Do you think it would be too tacky to read the poem at his funeral?
My Mum is nearing a nervous breakdown - Joan her older sister, and Vanessa her youngest daughter are doing their utmost to be malicious and cruel at a time when we should be supporting each other. I'm not quite sure how I am going to manage to get through 17th (day of the funeral) without killing someone! The funeral was supposed to be 12th July, but it had to be moved so that Vanessa could have cosmetic laser surgery on her eyes - she didnt try and cancel the appointment just demanded that the funeral be moved to suit her. And we get accused of being unreasonable because we refused!! Well, it got moved to 17th now and the vitrioloic e-mails are being flung back and forth. After Tuesday my mother doesnt have a sister, and I dont have an aunt.
As if this time werent already sad enough.
Mx
The end of an era.
At 1.50 am last Tuesday morning Granddad finally gave up and shuffled off this mortal coil. To say I am devastated would be an understatement. I keep thinking of that poem used in Four Weddings - 'Stop all the clocks' the end says he was my north, south east and west and nothing now can ever come to any good. That is how I feel. Do you think it would be too tacky to read the poem at his funeral?
My Mum is nearing a nervous breakdown - Joan her older sister, and Vanessa her youngest daughter are doing their utmost to be malicious and cruel at a time when we should be supporting each other. I'm not quite sure how I am going to manage to get through 17th (day of the funeral) without killing someone! The funeral was supposed to be 12th July, but it had to be moved so that Vanessa could have cosmetic laser surgery on her eyes - she didnt try and cancel the appointment just demanded that the funeral be moved to suit her. And we get accused of being unreasonable because we refused!! Well, it got moved to 17th now and the vitrioloic e-mails are being flung back and forth. After Tuesday my mother doesnt have a sister, and I dont have an aunt.
As if this time werent already sad enough.
Mx
Friday, 15 June 2007
Nothing changes...
Dear Angela-la-la,
I rather like the feeling that there aint nobody here but us chickens. In fact I like it so much I shall write like this blog is just for you. I could rename it 'Letters to La-la'.
How is life for you now? Hope things are better post trial. I have to say I read your post trial entry and I was so moved. I just wanted to wrap you in my arms and tell you how amazing you are. You have been so very brave, and strong, and I really admire you. You go girl! don't get to read your blog often - but enjoy every entry (ooh er)!
Granddad is no better. He is sleeping more and more. He is still very poorly, but looks comfortable. He is in a rehab unit closer to home and much much nicer than your average hospital.
Mum and Dad's car has broken down now (it never rains but it pours) so Dad has my car and I am left to the mercies of public transport (and cadging lifts of willing friends). The suspension went ping and left the body sitting on the tires! Oops!
Things are good for LP and I apart from that. I managed not to assult Aunty Joan when she came to visit. I was even civil! Quite proud of myself.
My weight is yo-yoing a bit - I can't seem to get into the swing of my life style change. I lost 3lbs last week, but stayed the same this week. At least I didn't put any on! I still need to get myself moving more. I'm a bit of a lazt troll at the moment!
Love M
I rather like the feeling that there aint nobody here but us chickens. In fact I like it so much I shall write like this blog is just for you. I could rename it 'Letters to La-la'.
How is life for you now? Hope things are better post trial. I have to say I read your post trial entry and I was so moved. I just wanted to wrap you in my arms and tell you how amazing you are. You have been so very brave, and strong, and I really admire you. You go girl! don't get to read your blog often - but enjoy every entry (ooh er)!
Granddad is no better. He is sleeping more and more. He is still very poorly, but looks comfortable. He is in a rehab unit closer to home and much much nicer than your average hospital.
Mum and Dad's car has broken down now (it never rains but it pours) so Dad has my car and I am left to the mercies of public transport (and cadging lifts of willing friends). The suspension went ping and left the body sitting on the tires! Oops!
Things are good for LP and I apart from that. I managed not to assult Aunty Joan when she came to visit. I was even civil! Quite proud of myself.
My weight is yo-yoing a bit - I can't seem to get into the swing of my life style change. I lost 3lbs last week, but stayed the same this week. At least I didn't put any on! I still need to get myself moving more. I'm a bit of a lazt troll at the moment!
Love M
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